Heir
by Junipertree
Summary: Kalasin starts to go insane. Jon won't let her be in the Riders, her dream, so now she has a new dream, and she'll do anything to achieve it- to be Queen... Chapters 8&9 up!
1. Not Fair

I just couldn't drop this idea

I just couldn't drop this idea. Oh, and keep in mind that I haven't read Squire. Poor, broke me is waiting for it to come out in paperback. Pity me. Oh, and how old do you have to be to be a Rider? Fifteen, I think.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tamora Pierce's stuff. Don't sue me.

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Heir

Chapter 1: Not Fair

Princess Kalasin of Conté paced her room, fuming. She didn't want to admit it. But- it was true. No, somehow it seemed disloyal to think thoughts like that. Her father was only doing his duty, after all. But- yes, it was true- she hated him! She hated him for every little unfairness, every little thing was just one more reason to hate him. 

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I don't want to be a princess if this is what it means! She thought, furious. _I get no freedom of choice, no fun. Daddy is such a control freak!_ She was surprised she hadn't

cracked ages ago- but somehow she'd taken it. This was the last straw.

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Proper Daddy must have a proper princess. He promised_ that since I couldn't be a page, then he would let me be one of the Queen's Riders. But now!_ Two weeks ago had been Kalasin's fifteenth birthday- and within a month she could have been a trainee. But King Jonathan had said- he broke his promise!- That Kalasin could not be a Rider- it was simply too dangerous.

Not for the first time, Kalasin quashed murderous thoughts. _If only I were Queen!_ She thought fiercely. _I'd be a _good_ Queen, and that- Father of mine would never push me around again. I'd do anything, anything to be Queen. I know all about ruling, as Daddy always planned to marry me off to Kaddar or someone. If only..._

She collapsed on her bed, fighting back tears. _It's not _fair!_ All I ever had to hope for was being a Rider. That's all I ever had to keep me going. And not he took that away, too._ She pounded her fists against the sheets. _Why doesn't Mother _do_ something! They're the _Queen's_ Riders, she has control of them. Why can't she let me in? Why, why, why?_

A knock came at the door, and Kalasin, wiping away the last traces of tears, opened it. A servant stood just outside and said, "His Majesty wishes to see you, Princess Kalasin. In the his receiving room."

Sighing, she followed the servant down the winding staircase, wondering what it was now. She wasn't sure she could take much more. The servant opened the door to the King's receiving room without a sound, motioning her in. 

"Ah," King Jonathan looked up from his papers. "You're here, Kalasin. Please sit down."

Kalasin bristled at his use of her full name. It made her uncomfortable, her name. Being named after a dead person was like you had to live up to that name, to be something you weren't. Kalasin just wanted to be herself, she'd rather be called anything- Kally, Ala, Kala, or Dumbbell, _anything_ but Kalasin. 

Of course, Jon didn't care in the slightest.

"Yes, Father."

Jon sighed. "You don't have to be formal with me, Kalasin. We're not in public, and you're my own daughter."

"Yes, Father."

Jon gave up. "I've been thinking, Kalasin. You're fifteen, now, and-"

__

Oh, no, holy mother of fried cockatoo crap-

"-and I think it's time we thought about a formal marriage."

Knowing Jonathan, he'd probably have the documents signed by now, with some Prince about to arrive at the Palace tomorrow-

"Actually, it's already arranged. The documents are signed, and the Prince should arrive tomorrow."

__

Knew it.

"The Prince of what?" Kalasin said through her teeth. 

"Prince Eleran of Tyra."

Kalasin had met Eleran before, a charming Prince only a year younger than she. Yes, sweet, but….?!? Kalasin tried to calm herself. _You knew this was going to happen eventually, _she told herself. _It was just a matter of time. So why am I so surprised?_

But then something in Kalasin just snapped. She was _sick_ and _tired_ of being pushed around, she was _not_ going to stand for any of this crap. This was the straw that broke the donkey's back. 

She calmly walked over to Jonathan and punched him in the nose. Her father cried out as a sickening _crack!_ shot through the air, and blood spurted from his face. Kalasin, horrified by what she had just done, turned and ran out of the room. 


	2. All That She Wants

Chapter 2: Death in the Palace ****

Chapter 2: All That She Wants

Kalasin dashed out of the room, shocked by what she had just done. She'd just broken her father's nose! The _King's_ nose! But- with her horror came a strange feeling of satisfaction. She _liked_ it. She _enjoyed _seeing him clutching his nose with blood dripping through his fingers, surprise on his face. Feeling sick, Kalasin dashed into a nearby privy and threw up down the hole. 

__

It's disgusting, she thought. _It's disgusting, and I _like_ it. _Then she remembered the Situation she was in, and-

Something like a cool wave washed over her, and she could think clearly. She didn't care. She didn't _care_ if Jonathan married her off to some idiot, what was a marriage not voluntary, anyway? If she ever found anyone she preferred, she could just have an affair- because she didn't care what other people thought. Now she only cared about herself. Now she could, and would, do anything that needed to be done to get what she wanted. And what she wanted- was to be Queen.


	3. Death in the Palace

Chapter 3: Death in the Palace ****

Chapter 3: Death in the Palace

The death bells rang for the death of Crown Prince Roald.

No, Kalasin did not kill him. 

She didn't quite have the heart; he **was** her brother, after all. It was a stupid riding accident, none of her doing. Now she could have what she wanted; she was eldest child, and **she** was heir.

Or so she thought.

Three weeks after Roald's death, King Jonathan named Prince Liam, Kalasin's younger brother, as heir. 

She was simply _fuming._

"I'm the eldest after Roald!" she yelled at her father. "Why the _fuck_ are you naming Liam heir? It is _my_ blood-right!"

Jonathan looked calmly down at his eldest daughter. "Child, it is simply not done. You are a girl, you could never be heir, unless every one of the possible other male heirs died, and then you would have to marry and your husband would be King, whereas you would be merely Queen."

"I'm not a child!" Kalasin screamed. "I can make my own decisions and do whatever I fucking well want! Merely Queen? Care to tell dear mother that? You mother-fucking _bastard_ of a male-chauvinist pig- you call yourself King? You call yourself my father? You're no King! _I have no father!_" She stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard behind her she thought she could hear wood splintering.

Red mist pulsed behind her eyes, she hated him, she hated him, she _hated _him! She walked a little ways down the hall and then screamed as loud as she could, letting out all the tension caused by her father.

Once she had loved her father. Once she had respected him for his authority, for his calmness, for his responsibility. Now she hated him, she hated him with everything she had. Now she would find someone else who hated him, someone who hated him as much as she did. Someone very powerful, very evil…. And very dead.


	4. Roger Returns (Again)

Wow

Wow! Thanks for the reviews everybody- and Rose Maiden, Alanna is not a slut. She just _acts_ like one. j/k. Anyway, this is where Kally really starts to lose it. Thanks for the reviews again, I was sure I'd just get flames. I'm not quite sure where exactly Roger died, anyway- was it among the newer graves, or among the old? Bah.

Oh, and some people asked why Alanna and Thayet let Jon get away with being such a bastard. Well, I don't know, alright! This entire fic is based on the fact that they _didn't _do anything. I don't know what color Kally's Gift is, either, so I'll say it's blue.

Disclaimer, yada yada

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Chapter 4: Roger Returns (Again)

Kalasin walked down to the very bottom of the Palace, down the winding steps below the earth. Here were the graves of the entire royal line- and the grave of Roger. 

It was near the very back, the place where he had died, among the graves of the long dead kings and queens of Tortall. There was a charred spot more than a metre around, with strange swirling patterns in the rock. Right in the center of the patterns, there was an old and cracked sword with a crystal sheen plunged into the solid rock.

Smiling, Kalasin strode towards it and placed both hands on the hilt. She was going to do something she'd never done before, something very difficult. 

Everyone knew Kalasin was a strong, natural Healer, but few knew just how strong. This was one thing she wasn't sure she could do, but was fairly confident of. Kalasin could Heal even a death wound- and, she thought, with the right materials- she could even Heal one already dead, to bring him back to life. Usually it would not be possible, but with the sword that had killed Roger, a sword that was made my melding a sword of the Old Ones and a sword of his own creation- it was only a question of power.

Kalasin pushed her magic into the sword, and it pulsed with pale blue light, throbbing in time to her heartbeat. Then, after she was almost completely drained, she shoved it out again- but this time away from herself and out of the sword. 

A shadowy outline began to form, solidifying into a ghostlike shape and then into a man. He glowed with orange light, and had a sadistic grin on his face. He was handsome, preserved at the age of thirty or so, dressed in fine clothes, seemingly brand new. He stepped toward the princess, hand outstretched as if in greeting.

His name was Duke Roger of Conté.

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IloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveitIloveit! Review!


	5. Help and Hinder

I know these chapters are short, but I write more than one at a time

I know these chapters are short, but I write more than one at a time. Whatever.

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Chapter 5: Help and Hinder

"Who is this?" Roger asked politely. "You resemble dear Jonathan… but you are different. Very different." He purred. 

Kalasin smiled at him. It was not a nice smile. "Princess Kalasin of Conté, Roger- but soon you will call me Queen."

Roger's evil grin broadened. "Why, how nice to meet you! I think we can help each other…"

"I think we can. But remember- if you ever even _try _to work against me, dear Duke, I can and will kill you in an instant. I know what Thom did not- that if you bring someone to life again, you can control whether they live or die. And if you betray me, you _will_ die."

Roger's eyes narrowed. "Smart of you. Whatever coerced you to raise me against Jonathan?"

"I was not coerced," Kalasin snapped. "That _bastard_ refused to let me be Queen simply because I am female- even though with Crown Prince Roald dead, I am the eldest child. That _asshole_ named Prince Liam heir. That I will not stand for."

Roger sat down and steepled his fingers in front of his face. "Much has happened in the years I have been gone," he said. "You must tell me everything."

~*~

Kalasin smiled. Now that she had Roger on her side, Jonathan could never stand against her. She would have his life within a week- by her own hand.

Jonathan's death had become an obsession. She wanted her father dead, _now,_ and even the thought of him sent her into a mad fury. She knew it as an obsession and kept careful track of that- Roger may use it against her, and he could only be trusted as far as she could throw him. 

Meanwhile she kept up her acting skills and acted like a sulky princess. Even Thayet was fooled. Though Kalasin had no hard feelings towards her mother- _Thayet_ had stood up to Jon, even though Jon had displayed the usual Conté stubbornness and refused to even listen to her. 

~*~

Thayet growled as she sat across from her husband, not even listening to his words. A thick vein pulsed on her forehead, her eyes were bulging, she was hissing spit.

And she still managed to look gorgeous.

And she hated it. Everyone saw her for her looks, not her personality. They just saw that pretty face, and added two and two- she was pretty, so she must be stupid. Gods. Finally, Thayet couldn't take it anymore. She shoved past Jon and ran out the door to her private room. 

__

I hate being beautiful! She thought furiously. _Jon only married me for my looks, I know it. I even bet her knows it. _

On her cosmetics dresser was a razor, a pair of scissors, and some shaving cream. _I'm going to do it,_she thought. _I'm going to do it._

The Queen of Tortall picked up the scissors and savagely hacked her long black hair off until it was scarcely and inch long. Then she slathered on shaving cream, and ran the razor up and down her head until she had no hair left.

Then she took the knife from her belt and ran it across her face in various places, knowing the marks would leave awful scars. She heard the sound of a door opening and slamming behind her.

She turned around.

She looked at Jonathan.

He looked at her.

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Ooh, I love it! Thayet debeautifies herself! Review!


	6. Love You Never After

Chapter 6: Love You Never After

Ya know, why does everybody hate Thayet? I think she's pretty cool. It's Jon who's the idiot. The only idiotic thing Thayet ever did was marrying Jon. Oh, this chapter is pretty soppy, so… well, I'm not going to give it away! 

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Chapter 6: Love You Never After

Jonathan stared in shock at his wife. Thayet glared back at him, just _daring _him to say something.

"Thayet…" he said, finally. "My Gods, Thayet!" the look of shock on his face said more than words.

"What?" Thayet asked sweetly. "Notice anything different, honey?"

"You- your face- your hair-"

"Oh, that." Thayet touched her bald scalp for a moment. "It was all for the good."

"All for the good!" Jonathan exploded. "You did **that** to yourself and it's all for the good? Now you're- you're-"

"I'm ugly?" Thayet finished for him. "Your point being, Jon? Why does it matter to you? You love me, after all."

At that moment, Jonathan's mind was cleared. He saw what he hadn't wanted to see since… since that day in the desert…"

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Jonathan watched Alanna storm out as his rage faded. She'd come back, and she'd apologize… 

He sat in the tent, unmoving. 

He waited for her. 

She never came back.

His Lioness never came back. Oh, she saw him again, they mended the fight- but she was never the same again. Never his Lioness. Never the woman who lay in his arms, the one who loved him. 

But still the one he loved.

He'd been deluding himself, all these years. Jonathan had known that he didn't love Thayet from the moment they had been married. He'd looked into her eyes and seen love… love he couldn't return. In time even that had worn off… and Alanna had left him. He had changed, but she'd stayed his Lioness, all those years…

He knew she loved George. He knew it, all right, and had kept his distance. If he never saw her again… but it would be torture at the same time. Oh, Alanna…

Jonathan yanked the beltknife from Thayet's hands and pointed it at his throat with shaking, sweating hands.

__

I can't do it, I have responsibility to my people-

To hell with responsibility. All my life I've put responsibility ahead of myself, my wife, my children. Gods, Kalasin, Roald… Thayet, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for making you think I loved you… I'm sorry, Alanna, for pushing you away… I'm sorry, Keladry, for being so unfair… and I'm sorry, Wyldon, for not realizing where I should have put you… in a retirement home.

I'm sorry, Jonathan, for living a lie.

"I'll love you never after." He said, and plunged the knife into his throat, savagely ripping it back and forth until he collapsed in death.

~*~

Kalasin heard the death bells for King Jonathan, and she wept true tears.

She wept, for she was not the one to kill him.

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Thanx to Radella for suggesting some A/J… I never would have thought of it myself. And please, all you Jon-haters out there, I hope his death satisfies you. I would like to remind you all that though Jon can be an asshole at times, he is still human. He was just too caught up in his responsibility as King to take any time for himself or even his family. He is still, at heart, the Jon we all know in In The Hand of the Goddess. 


	7. Roger...?

Chapter 7: And Then Roger… ****

Chapter 7: Roger…?

Kalasin listened to her mother rasp out the speech of abdication. Thayet had no desire to be Queen, and would spend the rest of her days as Captain of the Riders, now called Thayet's Riders. 

Kalasin's heightened state of coldness, of concentration, was shattered. Jonathan was dead, Thayet was out of the way, and because Liam was too young, yet, Kalasin was Queen. And Thayet, as her last will before abdication, declared Kalasin Queen.

She had what she wanted.

She didn't know what to do.

And Roger was still alive. 

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The shortest chapter in the world! Mua ha ha, I love torturing you people!!


	8. My Fault

Ooh, I know people hated me for such a short chapter

Ooh, I know people hated me for such a short chapter! So now I'm gonna try to make up for it.

~*~

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Chapter 8: My Fault

Roger cackled gleefully, his feet up on the desk. Ah, when that fool Kalasin had raised him, she had had no idea what she had done. It was very, very simple to remove the spell of power from him- the one that gave the raiser power over the raisee. He'd done the same for Thom- ooh, what fun he was going to have! Just like the old days. Only better- Alanna now had children…

~*~

Thom (***Alanna's son, not bro***) struggled against his bonds, trying to break the shields against magic around him. Roger was looking at him intently, from different angles, from time to time shooting little bolts of pain through Thom with a flicked finger. 

"Ah, How much you look like your uncle!" he said. "All too the good. Blood calls to blood, as they say, and my darling Lioness shall be rushing in soon. We should have a nice chat, no?"

Thom glared at Roger, and if looks could kill, Roger would have been dead long ago.

Just as the Duke had predicted, Alanna came rushing in five minutes later.

"Roger," she growled. "Please tell me I don't have to kill you _again!_"

Roger smiled sweetly at her. "Oh, have we met?"

Alanna spat on the floor. "Talk straight, will you? I hate you, you hate me, so lets just get it over with?"

"Oh, it's not quite that simple." Then Roger was behind Thom, holding a knife not a millimetre from his throat. "I don't really need to say anything brilliant, you get the point. Come a step closer, your son dies, yada yada yada…"

Alanna crossed her arms. "What happens if I don't come a step closer?"

Roger shrugged. "Well, he dies anyway." And the duke cleanly cut the boy's head off. It rolled to the floor, blood dripping from the severed neck.

Alanna wasted not one second. Face twisted into an expression of grief and fury, the lunged Roger and was immediately deflected by Roger's shields. She rushed him again, mad with rage, and an orange flash tore the air. Alanna lay stunned on the floor, one leg twisted at an odd angle underneath her, and the other ankle broken and bloodied.

Roger stood over her. "Ah, how rash, dear. Didn't your mother ever tell you to look before you leap?" He drew the fine sword from his belt and twirled it in his hands. "I must punish you for that." Roger then flicked the weapon deeply into his enemy's body in many places, just enjoying giving her scars. "You wanted to be a boy, once. Would you still like to be one now?" he mused. "Can't work the spell now, too much trouble. But, I can, however…" He went to his knees and balanced his sword on Alanna's knee. In a moment he arced it horizontally, cutting off both Alanna's breasts.

"Now, that's nice, isn't it?" he laughed. "Must hurt _terribly._ Do you want me to stop the pain?"

Alanna sweated, and did not answer. 

"Ah, I can stop the pain. But it will come at a price- your life." He laughed and raised his sword high in the air.

And collapsed on the floor, an arrow in his throat. Kalasin stood at the doorway, shaking, her strung bow in hand. She rushed into the room to help Alanna, who was fighting unconsciousness. Kalasin ripped up half her tunic to make a bandage to put around Alanna's mangled torso, and worked her healing Gift to the fullest. The Lioness reached up to grasp Kalasin's arm. "Don't…. make…. me sleep." Kalasin frowned, but obeyed as Alanna's friends ran into the room.

"Gods, oh gods…" Raoul added his own clothing to the bandage, which was soaked with blood despite Kally's healing. 

Kalasin sat down on the floor, hard. _It's my fault,_ she thought._ I was stupid- I lost it- I brought back Roger- oh, gods, it's my fault Alanna's like this and I can't heal- heal- heal _that.She ran backwards out of the room and dashed down the hall, tears streaming down her cheeks. _I don't deserve to be Queen, I don't. I can't even heal my friends. I can't do it, I can't do _anything_ right! It's my fault. _My fault.

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I'm evil. You thought I'd kill off Alanna, didn't you? Nahh. Review!


	9. Healing

The fluffy chapter

The fluffy chapter. Very, very fluffy. Oh, and I can't really write how George talks, so this is my pathetic attempt.

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Chapter 9: Healing

Alanna leaned against the stone wall, eyes closed. It seemed so long ago now…. Only weeks ago. Wounds were still healing, physical and emotional. 

She'd acted stupid. She'd let anger blind her, let Roger fool her, and now Thom was dead. Just like his uncle before him… 

George had been away on some mission. He was coming back today, he would see her, now, for the first time since Roger had returned. Alanna opened her eyes, and faced the road. She'd have to see him sometime. There he was, his horse cantering down the dirt road towards her.

He wouldn't know yet. Not… until tonight. No one had told him, on Alanna's request. She'd had some fakes made up a while ago- and they made her feel like a slut. Like the late Josiane of the Copper isles, who constantly stuffed her bra. But without it she felt… Exposed. Though almost everyone knew already.

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It's stupid, she told herself. _George loves you for you, not for your body. Face it. You're afraid he'll walk off because you're not pretty enough to suit him. _Alanna's cheeks burned. _Yes, alright, I am. I know he loves me, but… But what? _She argued again._ You're only making a fool out of yourself worrying yourself to bits like this._

Alanna knew it, she'd been reciting it over in her head for the past six weeks. But…

George was right up at the fief, now, and he jumped off his mare and ran to embrace her. Alanna hugged him back, all doubts going away for the moment.

~*~

Alanna and George were in their room, sitting on the bed.

"What's troublin' you, lass?" George asked, brows furrowed. He put his arm around her.

Alanna shook his arm off and stood up, facing him. Slowly she unbuttoned her shirt, letting it, the corset and the fake breasts fall to the floor, revealing the half-healed scars on her chest, and braced herself.

George stood up and cupped her chin in his hands. "Alanna, I knew when I married you that I'd be sleepin' with a woman with a few missin' body parts some day. I think it's far better to lose your chest than lose your legs and mope about not getting' to fight anymore. And if you think I wouldn't love you because you did your duty, then I can prove how wrong you are."

And he proceeded to do just that.

~*~

Queen Kalasin, sole monarch of Tortall, sat on her throne, hands clenched in front of her to hie their shaking. _I can't handle this, _she thought. _They're all going to hate me, I know it- because I'm female, because of what I've done- oh, gods._

Bit by bit she went through the audience, expecting an outburst of fury at any moment. But none came. _I- I think I can do it. Maybe- just maybe- I can do it. I did so much to be Queen, and by the Black God and the Goddess, I'm going to stay Queen. And I'll never, _ever_ need anyone to help me. I am Kalasin of Conté, Queen of Tortall._

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Hey, that's the end! I might, just _might_ to a sequel. Maybe. Anyway, review! Oh, and don't say Alanna was being silly. Remember how it hurt her when Jon said she was unfeminine? It's bad enough, being a female warrior- but having your chest hacked of… whatever! Flame if you must, I REALLY don't care. And thanx to all my awesome reviewers! I was positive I'd get nothing but flames for this!


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